Velcro vs Teflon vs Super Glue
4-16-15
I’m not good at all at letting go, saying “good-bye”,“see ya later”, or “til we
meet again”. I don’t like it…AT.ALL. I
bawled when my babies left my womb.
Wait, maybe that was from the pain.
Ok, maybe when they stayed in the church nursery for the first time,
Mothers’ Day Out, first day of school, first dates, college, and married. THAT’S the worst! Someone else has the
audacity to rip them from your arms into theirs?! Thankfully, those other arms are safe and for
that I’m very thankful. They even allow me
to wrap my arms around them again from time to time.
But tonight, I’m having to LET GO one more time,
and this child isn’t even my own. We met
in jail. Yep, behind bars. But I got to walk out every week and she didn’t. They told me “not to get attached”. Well, they may as well have said, “Don’t like
chocolate”. Not happening!
For the last 6 months, I have learned so much
about a life I've never experienced and so much about myself and the
faithfulness of God all at the same time. I've watched her give her life to the Lord, take it back so she could
deck someone – yep –literally – then crawl back again. We've both learned patience with the
other. Especially since this was my
first time to mentor. You see, I had
absolutely NO intentions of becoming a mentor.
Nope, not me. I’d already
dealt with enough juvenile delinquents for a lifetime, although not in jail at the time, and
thought others would be better suited for the task now. “Tag!
You’re it!” she said. “But I’m
not playing!”
I walked into the juvenile facility one Saturday
thinking I was there to just support my friends in their ministry. Sing a few songs, listen to someone’s story
about how Jesus changed their life, pray for
everyone, lead some to the Lord, and go home.
Boom! Done! (It really IS a powerful time, but I had an attitude!) But the young lady
(14) sitting beside me was obviously in distress and backing out of our little prayer
circle. So I just scooted back with her and talked to her quietly one on
one. I prayed with her and figured I
would just keep on praying for her after I went home. But no. She asked, “Will
you be my mentor?” I didn't really need
to think about my answer because I had already made up my mind. Suddenly, out came the words, “I’ll pray
about it and talk to my friends”.
WHAT?! “What did I just say? Don’t you know you don’t want to do that!?”
my mind was screaming. But I couldn't shake it off. I tried for several
weeks. Until the next Saturday event. As
only God could arrange it, in His unique sense of humor, there she sat in the
hallway as I came through the door. “YOU’RE BACK! Are you going to be my mentor?” SERIOUSLY?
I thought that was settled. I finally
gave up, gave in, got clearance and said, “YES”. I've learned from Jonah that “no” is never a
good answer with God. Besides, I just
know they’ll write on my tombstone, “She’s never done this before”.
Cassidy worked her way into my heart over the
next several months, meeting one hour a week.
At first, she was very hard to read and I questioned myself over and
over wondering what I’d gotten into. At
least the kids I worked with before could look me in the eye most of the time.
BUT GOD…..showed up every week. Our
relationship was off and running. Soon,
so was hers with Jesus! And THAT is why I was there….to see Him move in her
life! I watched her face visibly change and light come into her eyes as He
started teaching this beautiful young woman how much He loved her and how
valuable she is to him. She began
understanding things she’d never understood.
She went to a Sunday night Bible study she’d already been going to, and
prayed out loud as we’d been doing each week.
She memorized the Lord’s Prayer and the 23rd Psalm. She
learned about the armor of God and Spiritual Warfare. But more than any of that, she began to see
that God HAD sent His son to die for her and make her victorious, and had indeed
created her to be a fighter, not with her fists, but on her knees. She learned about grace when she almost got
kicked out a couple of times and sent to another facility, and yet they allowed
her to stay.
Tonight I meet with her for the final time. I
may or may not ever see her again. I’ve decided I’m NOT Teflon. But I am more
like Velcro. It sure feels like part of my heart is being
ripped out. But part of her will stay with me forever. I am praying for her to
be stuck to Jesus like Super Glue!!
He is her only hope in this mean, messed up world. My emotions are pretty raw right now. Can I do this again? WILL I do this again?
Probably. But I am incredibly thankful
to God because this wasn’t really about Cassidy alone. It was about how much He’s taught me along
the way as well. He’s given me His eyes
with which to see her, His heart to love her, and His arms to wrap around her. Now I release her completely into His care
knowing how much He loves her more than I ever could. “What a fellowship, what a joy divine,
leaning on the everlasting arms”. I’m
reminded again that God takes it very seriously when you say, “Use me, Lord”. Now, where did I put that waterproof mascara?
